That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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