he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
birth control should be required to get into college
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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