hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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