I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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