life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
