Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
