my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
