508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
