all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
