Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
