Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize