im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
