If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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