apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
