She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
