you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
