what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
