Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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