Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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