covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
