So drunk its hurt
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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