Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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