I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
