that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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