Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
