Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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