Nicole vs. Life
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
