she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
