HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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