You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He better not be in your backpack
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
