I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
