420 ftw
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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