i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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