Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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