This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
