Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
