He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
