I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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