I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
