I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
