you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You're like the curious george of whores
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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