Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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