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It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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