i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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