I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
