I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
