I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
