After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
