found the other keg... it's in the tree
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
