So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
