I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
